I often find God’s provision odd. This morning I thought I didn’t have enough time before my trainer-workout to dig into homework… and besides, I had no clean underwear in my drawer because it was still in the laundry room. Hey! Laundry is interruptible!
So I folded and put away… all the laundry. At the 80% mark, I thought: I have to shower at 10am if I’m to get to chapel at school by 11… my hard stop means we’re running out of opportunity!
Laundry finished, and no trainer in sight (on the street or on text), I laced up my shoes and “took steps” around my block. Look at me, claiming some movement: <pats self on shoulder>. I received finished-up laundry AND movement–provision!
As I walk, I generally listen to a podcast so that I’ll keep walking and not sit down to read. (You likely figured that one out before I did-!) Up today was another episode of Productive Flourishing:
At 36:23, they begin to discuss the section of her book where she expounds on how one can’t fail at self-care.
Me, my brain went straight to absolutes (though she does not!):
well, what if you succeeded at suicide? Wouldn’t that be a fail? Ah, wait, no. Even that, given the biases of the illness and the profundity of pain, would be a flailing attempt at self-care. A despairing “make it stop!” attempt, but caring nonetheless.
So remember. Whatever it is you end up doing, you are still trying to care for yourself. You cannot fail — or not-do — this. Be kind in your fumbling. At some point, you’re likely to pull out something refreshing… and then you can celebrate, because self-care with parties is even better.
Like me and my shoulder-pats.