Two steps back

What I considered for (yester)today:

Gym | dropping My Sweetie at work | mowing lawn | laundry | grocery shopping 

Notice how these are all an hour, mostly two or more, apiece?

What I did (yester)today:

Breakfast | one present | dropped My Sweetie at work | gym | phone call | clean myself up | two present | tidy room | draft this post | put away (some) dishes | clean towels | put away linens | heat and eat lunch | spend some gift card with B | get gas | get rabbit deterrent | grocer

Living my life, I think in the big blocks but operate in the small. And it’s not as if the small are make-work, or the things that creep in when one isn’t paying attention (though that happens too). The above day is a prime example: the gift-card was the truly expendable activity. (A frivolity for my birthday, in fact: bottles of unusual marinade, canned wine, kites.)

Somehow I operate with both too much slack and not enough–no intent and a day full of minutiae or large intentions that leave out dailiness. Sometimes both at once-!

Perhaps this is part of the general feeling that “being grown up” is always just beyond the fingertips. This sense that one will get the rhythm right, that the needful will be finished in a smooth flow from rising to rest. 

But upon the occasion of my 48th birthday, I say this microcosm is as good as it gets:

good intentions, mostly executed, and really, what was so time-critical about it after all?
ps: I drafted this post when I did because I suspected I’d have trouble finishing on the day. And yep, I am finishing on the morning after. Microcosm. 

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