Today is in the process of being a long day.
This term, Tuesdays have shaped up to be the present-progressive of long days.
Yesterday, as I was looping through the house all evening—housekeepers came today, plus the ripples from the Big Rock of Vacation Aftermath hadn’t yet subsided—I noticed that my insides were fizzing. Emotionally/bio-chemically speaking.
Still bustling, I raised a warning flag internally, and ran a check-systems routine. I started to fret: was I worrying about Long Tuesday? Am I taking on too many things this term? Heading for burnout? Don’t want to get crispy…
I put my foot down in the middle of my ruminations. I remembered a mindset that’s been making the personal development rounds: that elevated sensitivity could be incipient anxiety, or it could be excitement. The good kind.
That is, the bio-chemical happenstance is elevated sensitivity. Setting the context, eu- or dis-tress, belongs to cognition. At the outset, the only information available is the biological.
Today’s turned out to be a little simpler than it might have been, since my scheduled 3-hour class is cancelled due to our term-opening worship service. And a little more futz-y than it might have been, since I have plenty of household-management action items to work my way through. (HVAC checkup appointment? Booked.) And really, though I didn’t have remotely enough sleep last night (dang delayed-action jet lag!),
though it’s late enough in the day I could tip my decision toward eu- or dis- and be correct,
I’m not gonna.
I’m going to hold the sensation in my open palm.
Watch it some more.
Finish up this post, pop my gear back into the car, go celebrate my God and my study community,
and see whether I can keep this in my open palm until I get home.