I woke up yesterday wondering whether I was All Better. My Sweetie, in a five-minute kiss-out-the-door assessment, looked perturbed, and when I later texted him that I’d told my professors I wouldn’t be in for my midterms replied, “Good.” -!!
So yesterday I did the thing one is supposed to when ill—nothing. Well, not quite nothing.
Instead of watching daytime TV, I read old-favorite short stories. I ate assorted meals; I slept. Eat, sleep, read, rinse, repeat. And today I woke feeling markedly better. It always surprises me when I feel like myself again—I keep thinking it’ll be a gradual fade-in, reversing the way my illnesses stalk me into immobility. But there’s always a switch flipped: “Ah! Today, let’s make things happen!” I might be happier if I remembered not to believe myself on the days I think, “Mayyyybe I’m better…?” and instead climb straight back into bed. We’ll see if I can make that stick.
Today’s making-things-happen agenda? The steady march of reading intended for last week, when I was coming down with whatever-that-was. Migliore, LaCugna, Calvin’s Institutes of the Christian Religion (chapters 13-16 of Book I), assorted Old Testament scholars…
…assuming I quit diverting myself by writing, and get back to the task on the critical path. My make-up exams are tomorrow (Thursday 26 October)-!
So in lieu of writing, I’ll share some of the funnier bits I’ve read in the Institutes. I know. You thought John Calvin, like the FBI, do not have a sense of humor we’re aware of, ma’am. Au contraire! Were Calvin alive today, he’d be all over the Twitterverse. Particularly now that one tweet can have 280 characters.
(Oh, one last thing you should know: The Institutes, from which all these quotes are taken, are comprised of four Books, each of multiple Chapters, with each Chapter comprised of multiple Sections. (It’s catching, the diction… .) The citations reflect all that—in shorthand.)
Dear readers, I give you… John Calvin!
“Hitherto it has been my particular intention to lead by the hand those who are teachable, but not to strive hand to hand with the inflexible and contentious. But now the truth which has been peaceably shown must be maintained against all the calumnies of the wicked.”
“Our enemies, however, are not ashamed to pluck out any kind of mutilated utterances…!”
“For I suspect that those who intemperately delight in speculation will not be at all satisfied.”
“For if the fact that all the heavenly host are keeping watch for his safety will not satisfy a man, I do not see what benefit he could derive from knowing that one angel has been given to him as his especial guardian.”
I am now ever on the lookout for snark.