my voice in my ears

First it was everything due the week before midterm break. Then it was the bustly week of Dublin travel over break. Then it was everything due the week after midterm break, plus jet-lag, plus my inner exhaustion from having taken no meditation or writing time in Dublin. After that, it’s been… well… what has it been?

In part, it’s been the flip I suspected would occur: this work is not in the center of my focus. My assignments, which have piled up, have claimed the center of my focus. Writing is tugging on my jacket-hem, my shirt-sleeve, whispering in my ear. I’ve been glancing longingly, but wrenching my face back to the work at hand: I think the hard slog of preparing for my Hebrew midterm (I took it a week ago) changed my balance.

I am not a fan of the feel of “gut it out.” Or “hard slog.” Much less long continuous sessions of same and same. Oh, and the slog of gearing up for my initial history exam (just prior to Dublin!) was a similar molasses-laden foot-shuffle,

so I’ve been grabbing a textbook and not WordPress. And maybe feeding laundry through the process, or taking my car(s) to be cleaned inside and out, or my body to a routine check… which are places that trouble writing-thinking, but not textbook-reading.

My own voice is rusty in my ears. It seems foreign to write out loud.

“Always we begin again.” —probably not from the Rule of St. Benedict

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