So in the system that is Enneagram, Fives are particularly known not just as withdraw-ers par excellence, but as tempted most by the sin of avarice. What I find most interesting is that this isn’t the default understanding of avarice (that is, hoarding money), but a wider and/or more thorough avarice: hoarding time, hoarding energy, hoarding attention (theirs). A stretch-goal for Fives, then, is generosity—sharing time, energy, and attention out of a discipline of abundance. Everything can be shared because there is more than enough!
Until there isn’t.
Not in a metaphysical sense! I thoroughly affirm the ultimate enoughness of everything, even my skills and abilities (also a sore spot for Fives).
But me, I physically flat-out run out of steam. I. Do. Not. Have. Enough. right now. Seriously. That’s why I didn’t post yesterday; I considered it, sat down to read until I felt ‘gathered’ enough to do so…
…and fell asleep in the straight-backed chair. So I took a true nap instead. The way I did Monday a week ago, which was another Monday on the heels of a filled-up weekend. Filled up with activities and humans: great stuff, eventually tiring.
If one recharges in solitude (also a hallmark of the Meyers-Briggs Introverted type, check), it’s important to be solo. If one grounds oneself in reflection, it would be wise to have quiet time allocated to that purpose. Right now, that’s not how my time and attention have been able to flow… and my energy is suffering accordingly.
I guess it’s reassuring to know that I’m not a hoarder for no reason. I hoard against times of energy-drought,
like this one.
I have a paper due. I have an exam next week. More to the point, I have a full people-ing schedule for the foreseeable future.
So my posting mileage is going to continue to vary.
I’m sad about that. I’m also looking ahead toward Taking Steps to forestall future droughts, on the chance I can prepare. Or at least strip off what’s currently turned into too much.